


A Guarded Confession

by Weebles



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Clothed Sex, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluffy Smut, I can just go on with these tags, Lotor has a hard time being vulnerable, Lotura - Freeform, Possible Hurt/Comfort, Post Season 4, Smut, That turns into smut, The Sproggles, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, riding sex, the boy needs more hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-05 13:10:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13388499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weebles/pseuds/Weebles
Summary: “We are never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” – Walter AndersonPost Season 4Allura is there to comfort Lotor when he returns from a less than successful mission, however her doing so forces him to confront feelings that he never thought it was safe to have.ORSometimes when you lose everything, you find what really matters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own any of these characters or franchises. If I did, Lotor would get more hugs. And cake.  
> Be gentle, it's been...probably over 10 years since I've written smut.
> 
> A note on time measurements:  
> Phoeb – about a month  
> Deca-Phoeb – about a year  
> Quintant – about a day  
> Also note:  
>  _‘This is someone’s thoughts’_

Lotor guided his ship back into its designated hanger on the Castle of Lions with an ease born of almost a deca-phoeb of recent practice.  Throttling back the engines he eased the vessel down, landing with surprisingly little noise.  He let his head fall back against the seat with a sigh, eyes sliding shut as exhaustion pulled at him; distantly he heard the hanger doors shut and felt gravity reassert itself as the room pressurized. 

When he had been in exile, several of the planets he had “conquered” had actually sworn allegiance to him rather than his father.  With the help of the Blades and their network, he had been trying to contact a few of those leaders in a bid to get extra support for the Coalition.  It was risky though, for all parties involved; any ties to him were now immediate death warrants.  And these leaders didn’t have just their own lives to worry about but those of everyone on their planet, possibly their whole system even.  After what Zarkon did to Altea centuries ago and more recently what Haggar attempted to do with Naxzela, well… he still had to try.  Despite all of Voltron and the Coalition’s recent successes, it was still an uphill battle and they needed all the help they could get.  Having just returned from another meeting with the Blades, Lotor was disheartened (but not surprised) to find that fewer potential allies than he had hoped were willing to communicate with him.  Even if they did believe that his father was wrong, that the Empire needed to change; they believed that helping Voltron at this point was too great of a risk.

Lotor sighed again, sinking further back into the pilot’s seat.  He wanted nothing more than to take off his armor, shower, collapse into a warm bed and sleep for a couple quintants.  Preferably, he thought with a small grin, accompanied by a certain Altean Princess.  His pleasure at the notion was cut short by a decidedly disgruntled murmur in the back of his mind. 

 _‘I know,’_ Lotor thought back to it, now frowning. _‘I **know.** ’_  The remainder of the trans-dimensional comet still sat in his ship’s hold, untouched since it was stored there.  Sincline was growing displeased at the lack of progress towards completion; explaining a shortage of time, manpower and proper equipment to the sentient ship had proved less than successful.* 

 _‘Like everything else I’ve endeavored as of late._ ’  Lotor leaned forward in the chair, resting his helmeted head in his hands.  Every plan, every failsafe that he had planned over deca-phoebs of exile had been shattered in a few quintants. 

“Damn that witch.” He muttered out loud; he knew that she had her hands in all of that.  He didn’t know how, but he just knew that she was involved.    _‘Although I may as well damn myself while I’m at it,’_ he thought darkly.  It was ultimately his actions that had driven the wedge between him and his Generals.   And now he had no idea where they or the other Sincline ship were.  _‘As long as they’re somewhere safe…’_  

Further brooding was interrupted however, but a sudden, sharp knock on the glass canopy above him.  Lotor swung his head up, meeting the gaze of the subject of his previous musings staring down at him with a small smile.  He couldn’t help the smile on his own face as he shook his head in bemusement, wondering at her ability to scale the ship without him hearing her.  Allura raised an eyebrow at him and gestured for him to open the canopy to which he replied by tilting his head to the side and lifting his hand to his chin, pretending to think on it.  If possible her eyebrow arched even higher as she widened her stance and firmly planted her hands on her hips; however the attempt at intimidation was ruined by the fact that she was actually in her sleeping gown and robe.  Laughing quietly, Lotor chose to end his ruse before Allura decided she needed to break his ship just to prove her point.  He activated the command on the control screen to raise the canopy before he reached up to release the clasps on his helmet and remove the headwear.

 “Planning on sending the whole evening in your ship, Prince?”  Allura teased him as she sat down on the rim, her gown covered legs dangling into the cockpit although she was careful to keep her slippered feet away from any of the equipment.

“Just strolling around the castle in your sleepwear, Princess?” Lotor quipped back as he smirked up at her, absently running a hand through his tousled hair.  Allura smiled back at him.

“I was getting ready for bed when the sensors alerted me to your return.” She told him as she fiddled absently with the neckline of her robe.  “How did things go?”

It would be so easy for him to lie – to fall back into the lifelong habit of telling others what they wanted to hear, what they expected to hear.  He had been doing it for so long that it felt unnatural to do otherwise.  In the Empire, particularly around his father, honesty that conveyed less-than favorable information was at the very least met with disdain and at worst…  Well, there was a reason that a fairly high turn-over of Commanding Officers occurred in Central Command.

Trust was not something he gave easily, nor was he ever really comfortable doing so.  The camaraderie that he had achieved this his Generals was the closest he had allowed anyone in a very long time.  It was inevitable that it was something that could and often would be used against you.  When push came to shove and your life is on the line, you do what you have to in order to survive.  He understood that – it was the unspoken way that all of their lives worked.  Except…

On the Castle of Lions it was different.  They fought well as a team of course, each one confident and competent in their individual role and where they fit in the whole.  However, even outside of combat there was an openness, practically an emotional dependence that they had on one another that he was having a hard time understanding.  There really was no individual that wasn’t included; even if they joking called half-Galra Blade a “loner”, he was still very much part of the unit.  It bothered him in a way that he really couldn’t place.  It wasn’t a concern for their safety – if they were so foolish as to trust others so implicitly, well, that was their own fault.  There was a contentment in that relationship that was totally foreign to him, even as physically close as he and Allura had grown over the past phoebs…

“Lotor?” Her voice pulled him from his musings and he blinked to see her concerned expression directed at him.

Shaking his head, Lotor stood from his seat with a huff, pausing to stretch and roll his stiff shoulders, feeling the muscles pop as they moved over one another.  He took a small step forward, the cockpit was not that large, and leaned closer to Allura, his hands resting on the edge on either side of her hips, his forehead resting against hers.  He gazed into her eyes as he breathed in the scent of her, trying to reclaim his earlier good humor.

“Not nearly as encouraging as we had hoped.”  He finally replied, opting for a diplomatic response.  She smiled at him as she reached up with one hand to cup his cheek while the other brushed errant stands of his hair behind his ear.

“If even one listens and can help, that is more than we have; others will come around eventually.  In the meantime we will just continue to forward.” She answered confidently as she continued to twirl the fingers of one hand in the ends of his hair.

Had the response come from someone else, _anyone_ else, Lotor would have suspected insincerity, a platitude to appease him.  Allura, he had learned, was not bashful about letting others know what she thought or felt.  She wouldn’t say something if she didn’t truly believe it herself.  Again it was that open transparency that quite honestly… _terrified_ him – but for her it was as natural as breathing.  He grasped the hand that she still had against his cheek and turned to brush his lips against her bare palm.

“How is it so easy for you to do that?” he whispered against her warm skin; his heart was racing and he was positive that his hands were shaking.  Oh stars, he knew what this was…

She tilted her head, studying him for a moment before a slow, almost sad smile crossed her face as she leaned forward to brush her lips ever so slightly against his.

“You open up to people that you love, Lotor.”

“Allura…” He breathed against her lips before he could stop himself, his eyes clenched shut.  Internally he was panicking, part of him wanted to run, to stop this, pretend it didn’t happen.  Maybe even fly off and leave the Castle permanently, he could probably find some remote planet to hide out on until things blew over, one way or another.  But…but the larger part of him _wanted_ this; to love this woman and to be loved by her in return...  Even if it lead him to his death, he knew, as he opened his eyes to stare into hers, it would be worth it.  “I don’t even,” he swallowed hard, “even know how to-”

Allura pressed a dark finger against his lips, her smile no longer sad.

“I know,” she told him, sliding both hands up to cup his face, “You don’t have to say it.” She kissed him again, eyes bright, “Just show me.” She whispered. 

Lotor didn’t need to be told twice; he brought a hand around to cradle the back of her head before he pressed his lips against hers more firmly.

Allura sighed into the kiss; she slipped both hands into his hair, tugging firmly on the locks as she opened her mouth to his.  Lotor groaned, deepening the embrace as he slipped his tongue out to meet hers.  Drawing her tongue further out, he grazed it ever so lightly with his fangs, eliciting a moan in response.  Things quickly became more heated as Allura hitched her gown up her legs, allowing her to wrap the long limbs around Lotor’s hips.  One hand still tangled in her thick hair, Lotor had the other wrapped around her waist, pulling Allura flush against him.

They briefly broke apart to catch their breath and Lotor pressed forward, nuzzling against her.

“Let’s go back to your bed.”  Lotor groaned against her skin as he kissed along her cheek, pausing to nip at the spot behind her jaw, just below her ear.  The small squeak that she made at the action had him chuckling as he nibbled up the shell of her ear, gripping her hips with both hands.

“Too far.” Allura panted as he rolled hips, still trapped between her thighs.  Allura’s fingers dug into his arms, a low cry leaving her lips as she pressed forward, firmly rubbing her aching core against his clothed erection.  Lotor felt her legs shift around him as she raised her head up, a gleam in her eyes and what could only be called a devious smirk.  With a desire-roughened voice that shot a shiver through him she said,

“How about a compromise?”

Before he could respond she wrapped her arms around his neck and, with her knees pressed to either side of his waist, she braced her feet against the rim of the cockpit and pushed.  Unprepared for the movement Lotor stumbled back with a curse, landing hard on the pilot seat with his amorous Princess now straddling his lap.

“Seriously?” he muttered against her lips even as he tore his gauntlets and gloves off to slide his hands up her thighs, pooling her gown higher.

“Oh shut up.” She breathed at him hotly, curling her fingers into his hair and tugging his head back.  Lotor hissed through clenched teeth when she pressed her body along the length of his, canting her hips into his and creating a friction that had them both moaning.

Allura kissed and nipped her way down what skin of his throat was exposed by his armor as Lotor’s hands quested higher up her thighs, slipping up under her gown only to find her completely bare under the attire.

“Well now,” he couldn’t help but grin even as she tightened her grip in his hair.  “No undergarments?  It seems as if someone was prepared for this outcome.”   Allura shuddered in his lap as he slid one hand between her thighs, cupping her mound as one finger just barely parted her folds, teasing.  In retribution, Allura released his hair only to slip a hand between them and grip his length through his clothing. 

“They only get in the way,” Allura muttered as Lotor growled her name and bucked up into her hand.  Lotor slid his other hand up her body to cup one of her breasts, palming the weight of it before trapping the nipple between his fingers and pinching it.  Allura clenched her eyes shut as she gasped loudly, also shifting trying to press her sex more firmly against his hand.   

“How about a compromise?”  He twisted her words against her as he finally, _finally_ slid his fingers between her already wet folds, unerringly finding her clit and circling the sensitive nub with firm strokes.  Allura was practically _writhing_ in his lap as he shifted his hand, leaving his thumb to stroke her clit as he pressed two fingers into her.

“ _L-Lotor…_ ” she panted as he started to shallowly thrust his fingers, alternating between scissoring the digits and curling them inside her.  Allura’s head fell back, the ends of her long silver hair brushing his knees as Lotor kissed along her jaw and down her neck.  He paused briefly to gently nip at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, enjoying the sounds coming from her as she continued to grind and fuck herself on his hand.  Her cheeks and ears were tinted with a dusky pink blush and he could practically feel her heart hammering in her chest beneath his hand as it moved to tease her other breast.  He loved seeing her like this – gone was the stoic, beautiful diplomat and in her place was a vibrant, stunning siren.  A feast of sight and sound and utterly bewitching.

And here, like this, she was his.

Lotor moaned against her shoulder; the heat and wetness of her clenching around his fingers was driving him mad.  But this was about her, about showing her…  Lotor gentled his thumb’s motion against her clit, but slid a third finger into her, curling the digits forward as he did so.   Allura threw herself against him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder as a keening sound tore free of her throat.  Her fingers were digging into his biceps, trying to anchor herself as she practically slammed herself down onto his hand. 

“Lotor, please!” Allura whined against his neck, trembling as she chased her release.  “Please, please…”  
Lotor smiled against her hair, unseen, as he gave her clit a strong flick with his thumb.  Allura’s whole body jolted at the sudden gesture, a cry muffled against his shoulder.  It only took a few more firm strokes of his thumb before she came around his fingers, muscles squeezing and pulsing around them as she sobbed his name, her face buried against his neck.

Lotor clenched his eyes shut, panting, trying to get a grip on himself.  His erection was straining against the cloth of his pants, painful now after all of that.  He slid his hand from her - Allura moaned softly at the action, shuddering – and brought both hands to her thighs, absently rubbing up and down their still quivering length.  He drifted for a few moments; the only sound in confined space was their labored breathing and he focused on trying to slow his down.

He distantly left Allura shift in his lap but he still jumped when he felt her rub her hand against his cock, breath hissing through his teeth at the friction and heat of her palm.  Allura rose up on her knees, only trembling slightly; her eyes were blown – large purple pupils surrounded by a thin ring of blue – and he was sure that his looked the same.  She grabbed at his waist, demanding:

“Get this off.” 

Lotor didn’t argue; between the two of them, a few moments and what felt like far too many clasps, his erection sprang free between them.  He let his head fall back against the chair as she stroked her hands over his cock, moaning as she twirled a finger around the head, gathering precum in her hand to slicken her strokes.

“Allura- ” he choked, grabbing her hands as his already tenuous restraint slipped further, “Allura, I can’t.”

She chuckled at him, leaning forward to kiss his nose, purring,

“And here I had planned to return the favor-” Lotor cut her off by crushing his lips against hers, a hand fisted in her hair.

“I want to be inside you,” he groaned when they broke apart and he watched the flush on her cheeks deepen at his words.

Allura nodded and wasted no time in raising her hips, gathering the length of her sleepwear in one hand and lifting it out of the way.  Lotor clutched her waist as she positioning herself and sank down on his length, both of them moaning at the sensation.  Lotor shuddered as he rocked up into her, reveling in how good she felt, at how hot and wet and tight she was around him.

After a breath, Allura started to ride him, although the pace she set was agonizingly slow; rising up on her knees until only the head of his cock remained inside of her before sliding back down its length.   He watched her bite her lip as she shifted and tilted her hips different ways, trying to find a particular angle that she liked.  Lotor let her experiment for a few moments more before he was unable to take the slow torture any longer and he began to thrust up into her, meeting her half way, setting a brisker tempo.  Knowing what she had been seeking, Lotor placed a supportive had on her lower back before telling her to lean back.

“W-what?” she breathed, looking at him with glassy eyes, caught up in their movements.

“Lean back, just a bit, I’ve got you.” He panted, before he gave her a slightly pained smirk, “Trust me.”

Allura smiled back at him as she wrapped her hands around his forearms, just below his elbows and did as he said; the result was instantaneous.  Allura gasped as the angle caused the head of his cock to rub against her spot with each thrust – both coming and going.

“Oh Ancients,” she swore, gasping for breath, “Oh right there, that’s it.”

Lotor managed to chuckle at the needy sounds that were escaping her with each thrust; high-pitched, breathy sounds intermingled with bits of coherent speech.  If he had been able, he would have loved nothing more than to spend the entire night pulling those sounds from her.

Oh but Stars he was getting close.

With a quiet grunt he picked up the pace, slamming up into Allura as he approach his peak.  Suddenly Allura’s head fell back as she cried out, her entire body seized up with the force of her orgasm.  Lotor moaned out her name as her muscles fluttered and pulsed around him, pulling him into his own release.  Lotor’s arms wrapped around her as Allura slumped forward against him even as he continued to cum inside of her with a last few, shallow thrusts before he too laid still.

Once again the only sound in the cockpit was their ragged breathing.

Allura nuzzled the underside of his jaw as he buried his face in the top of her hair, breathing in their scents.  Lotor tightened his arms around her; his head was heavy and his mind felt muddled but he knew that something was different.  This was by far not the first time the two of them had been intimate, however this was the first time that…

“Lotor?” Allura looked up at him, concerned, when she felt him suddenly shiver against her.  “What’s wrong?”

This had been the first time that he had consciously acknowledged that this was about more than sex.  More than even general affection. 

She had told him that he didn’t need to say it.

He said it anyway.

Allura smiled up at him, one hand drawing his face down to hers for a slow, gentle kiss.

“Oh Love,” she said, tucking back in against the crook of his neck.

“I’ve always known."


	2. A Guarded Confession - EXTRA!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura muses about the unexpectedly pleasant turn of events that Lotor had just shared with her when a certain Altean biological phenomenon decides to announce its impending arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little fluffy bit, with just a teensy bit of naughtiness. 
> 
> Written with [Longpig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longpig/profile) in mind. <3

Sometime later, Allura ran her fingers through Lotor’s hair as he dozed, curled against her in their bed.  She had intended to surprise Lotor upon his return to the ship with an impromptu and light-hearted seduction but it had turned into something more solemn.  She had been able to tell that there was a lot on his mind, more than just the information meeting with the Blades of Marmora.  He wouldn’t talk much about the details of his life in the Empire and he would instantly shut himself off if anyone tried to push the matter, but Allura knew that it had been difficult.  She knew without a doubt that her own father, who had taken time out of every day to spend with her, who had taught her so much, and who had done everything in his power to keep her safe, had loved her dearly.  When she tried to imagine her life without that – with someone like Zarkon as her father…

Allura frowned, shifting her hips slightly as twinge of discomfort in her lower back caused a small ache.   Still…she hadn’t expected him to tell her that he loved her.  She ghosted a fingertip over the outer shell of one of his ears, smiling as it flicked in response while he slept on.  To say that she had been happy would have been an immense understatement; she _had_ known of course, but that he had verbally acknowledge it, even if it did set his nerves on edge, still caused a warmth to fill her from head to toe.  Lotor stirred marginally, pressing just a little bit more of his weight onto her.  Allura winced, the slight increase of pressure against her breast causing a disproportionate amount of discomfort.  And the ache in her back had shifted lower and had changed from an ache to…something else.  Allura cast a glance around her room, suddenly coming to a realization.  When had she started acquiring so many pillows?

_Oh dear…_

“Lotor?” she called softly, brushing his hair away from his face.

“Hmm?” he mumbled groggily.

“Do you remember that conversation we had a few phoebs ago?  About Alteans?”  Allura asked, biting her lip.

His brow furrowed even though he didn’t open his eyes.  “The one about the Slipperies?”

“No, the one about an Altean female’s fertility cycles.”  Allura replied, trying not to giggle at the image of an older version of her lover sliding around the castle.

He did open his eyes now, although his blue and yellow gaze was still blurry.

“What was that called again?  Spriggles?”  Allura laughed,

“ _Sproggles_.” She corrected.  Lotor scoffed,

“Honestly, what kind of word is that?” He burrowed his face back into her shoulder with a deep sigh.  “Isn’t that when your hormones become so strong that they drug me into becoming your ever-willing sex slave whose only purpose is to satisfy your deviant needs for a few movements?”  Allura felt her face burn,

“W-what?  That’s not- wherever did you hear that?” 

“Coran.” Allura was sure her face was a red as the Lion in the bowels of the castle, she buried her face in her hands to try and hide it.

“He would never say such a thing!”  She wailed, horrified at the idea of Coran talking to Lotor about such things.  She felt Lotor shake against her.  Suddenly suspicious, she peeked through her fingers down at him.  He was _laughing_.  Allura smacked his shoulder, embarrassment fading.  “He _didn’t_ say that.”

“No,” Lotor chuckled before he placed a kiss on the side of her throat, “he did not.  He did try to warn me about it though.”  Suddenly he propped himself up on his arms above her – eyes clear as they cast up and down her form on the bed.

“Why are you bringing that up now?”  Allura smiled almost shyly up at him.

“Mine is probably going to be starting in the next movement or so.”  Lotor’s gaze softened as he looked down at her, most of his long hair spilling over one shoulder in a white waterfall.  Allura reached up, intending to brush it back, but instead she tangled her fingers in its length and used it to pull him down into a kiss.  Lotor deepened the embrace, his tongue twining with hers in a brief, gentle dance.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked when he pulled away.

“I need more pillows.”  Allura sighed, lightly dragging her nails against his scalp.  Lotor raised an eyebrow as he looked dubiously at the mounds of mismatched pillows already strewn in piles around the room.

“More?”

“ _Lots_ more.”  Lotor shook his head with a bemused smile.

“Alright,” he agreed, wisely deciding to not argue with her.  “Anything else?”

“And we’ll probably need to store up some food and water in here.”  His brows creased slightly.

“Oh?”

“Of course!”  Allura grinned up at him, tightening her grip in his hair as she rubbed one of her thighs against his, “I can’t have my sex slave passing out mid-coitus, now can I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm...not sorry for this.
> 
> ALSO, for anyone curious, Sincline is particularly upset at the..."shenanigans" that just took place it's pilot's seat. It is _convinced_ that they wouldn't have pulled this crap in one of the Lions.

**Author's Note:**

> HOLY CCRRRAAPPPPPP  
> This was equally really fun and really difficult to write. This actually started out quite different. I had intended (and started) to write just a quick and dirty little smut Lotura fic and because of a meta on Tumblr, it turned into something quite fluffy with a dash of angst. Stilly smutty, but fluffy smut. Smut with _feelings_. 
> 
> Anyway, the meta (found [here](http://radioactivesupersonic.tumblr.com/post/169677187595/continuing-thoughts-about-team-sincline-dealing) by the wonderful Clockie aka radioactivesupersonic, I LIVE for his metas) talks specifically about how Lotor (as well as the Generals) would be totally out of his depth if he had to be 100% genuinely, emotionally honest with someone. He would have grown up in such an environment where it was not safe to be honest with anyone. If you wanted to live (and let’s face it, Lotor does NOT want to die) you had to be able to convincingly play the roles that people expect of you. And when you do that for so long in order to keep yourself safe, it would be incredibly hard to let yourself be vulnerable.
> 
> He’s going to be awkward as shit.
> 
> Don’t get me wrong, I love suave, cocky, seductive Lotor. But just this once, at least in this fic, I kind of wanted vulnerable Lotor.
> 
> *THIS note is about the Sincline ship and the fact that I subscribe to the meta that if the Voltron Lions can communicate with their pilots then the Sincline ships can too.


End file.
